What Goes Around Comes Around

 

"One act of kindness can go on and on and sometimes,

like a boomerang, come back to us at a time

when we need it the most."

                                                                    ... Orly Wahba

 

There are many reasons why kindness enhances our lives. This week we’re exploring the delightful reality that kindness we give out comes back to us in often unexpected ways.

Yes, it may seem a bit selfish to be kind to others, but few of us are kind for that reason. We’re mostly kind because it feels good. Kindness is a natural human inclination.

But isn’t it nice to know that the more we perform acts of kindness, the more kindness shows up in our lives?

In our culture, people say, “What goes around comes around.” In recent years, more and more people talk about the Law of Attraction, which explains how the energy that we put out into the world goes out, gathers like energies, and returns to us.

We experience it as people showing up in our lives in ways that are similar to the ways that we showed up earlier.

I read a story once – not sure if it was true or not, but the point is well made.

A man - let’s call him Eric – was enjoying his morning coffee in his local café. A stranger began a conversation with him and mentioned that he was thinking of moving.

He asked Eric, “What are people like here.?”

“What are they like where you’re living now?” Eric asked him.

“They are terrible” the man replied. “Everybody is grumpy. They ignore me and never offer help. I can hardly wait to leave.”

“Well, that’s just what you’ll find here,” Eric told him.

Some days later, while Eric was enjoying his morning coffee, a woman he had never seen before started a conversation about the town. She said, “I love this town and I’m thinking of moving here. What are people like here?”

He asked her, “What are they like in your town?”

She smiled and said, “Oh, they’re wonderful. Everyone is so friendly and always looking out for each other.”

“Well,” he said. That’s exactly what you’ll find here.”

What we give does come back to us – not in the exact form, but with the same kind of energy.

I try to remember, “Wherever I go, I take me with me.”

I ask myself, “Which me am I taking out today? Is it the stressed and grumpy me or the kind and mindful me?

This can be fun.

The fun part is looking for more ways to express kindness in our daily lives and then noticing how other people are showing up for us

When I was a teenager, one summer I was a waitress in the Rail Restaurant in Pleasantville, New York. Of the three of us, I was the newbie, just learning how to be a waitress. Before the customers came in, we each had a bowl of the soup of the day, so we could tell people about it.

The owner and chef was Rocky. The other waitresses told me he was grumpy and hard to work with. Well, I loved his soups, and I told him every day how good they were. It was a genuine response – a simple act that came naturally to me. At home, my dad always thanked me or my mother for a good supper. Kindness was a learned habit.

At the Rail, three of us worked at lunch time, serving mostly local businessmen, and one of us worked at night, when fewer people came. My first night shift was overwhelming – an unfamiliar menu and no back-up as more people came in. One man ordered a steak, and I wrote down the wrong one, so when I served it, he was upset.

I took it back to Rocky, expecting him to be mad, but he was kind to me. He prepared the steak the customer wanted, and I was relieved that it was so easily fixed.

The next day, when I told the other waitresses what happened, they asked me if I had to pay for the wrong steak. They were surprised that Rocky had not charged me for my mistake, since he always charged them if they messed up. When I thought about it, I realized that I simply acknowledged him for being good at what he did. It had an impact on him that later flowed back to me.

Small kindnesses matter.

Larry is a friendly person. He greets people whenever he encounters them. In the grocery store, he compliments the woman arranging flowers for sale. He enters into conversation with the produce man, and he greets the check-out person with a friendly comment.

As a result, they are always glad to see him when he shows up. They respond in kind, and it is a pleasant experience for all of them.

Most of them are used to being ignored by customers. Even check-out people, who are face-to-face with people, are often not acknowledged. An exchange of money occurs with no other conversation.

So a simple act of kindness -– a sincere compliment about her smile or a comment about what a busy day she is having – can cheer up her day.

We all want to be acknowledged.

Consider in what ways you can acknowledge someone you encounter today. It’s important to be sincere. An insincere compliment, no matter good it may seem to you, does not have the magic of one from your heart.

Be aware of how you're feeling and what energy you're taking out into the world

For years, I was uncomfortable when I approached a homeless man on the street – not knowing how I could help., So it was easier to ignore him. This is a common response.

In the last few years, we have had the opportunity to get to know several folks without homes, as part of the Haywood Street Community in Asheville, NC. When I asked my new friends, “What is the hardest part of living on the street,” I expected they would say it was not having a home, or not having easy access to a bathroom or a shower. Those things certainly present big challenges,

But what mattered most to several people was the daily experience of not being seen - or being seen and dismissed as if they did not exist.

Don’t ever think that a small kindness does not matter. What seems small to you can uplift another person in ways you’ll never know..

I invite you to be curious. Experiment.

Look for small ways to be kind – at home or when you go out. Then notice if more kindness is showing up in your life. It often does not come back to you from the people you were kind to. But your own energy does flow back to you

What goes around really does come around.

 

What are your thoughts? Please leave a comment below.

 

Help us spread the message of kindness.

If you know others who might appreciate these ideas, please share below.

 

We’re grateful that you are on this journey with us.

With love from our hearts to yours,

Pat and Larry