The Power of Small Acts of Kindness
Not all of us can do great things,
but we can do small things with great love.
… Mother Teresa
Kindness is the way we spread love in the world. It feels good - in the giving and receiving. The more we experience kindness, the more we connect with others and reinforce the awareness of our kinship. That is how the world changes - when we remember our kinship.
The photo above speaks for all of us. The photographer, Matt Collamer of Unsplash, said that he met Michael in a Boston subway station and told him that he liked his sign. “What matters is what it means to you,” Michael said. When asked what it meant to him, Michael replied, “Doing a deed or expressing kindness to another person without expecting anything in return.”
Matt said he loves approaching strangers wherever he goes. “Listening and talking to them teaches you about people and how similar we all are to one another. Just like Michael, we’re all seeking human kindness.”
We agree. Wanting more of the pleasure we receive from our connection with others, Larry and I have looked for new opportunities to be kind. Some were right in front of us, and we hadn’t noticed. We want to share with you our expanded appreciation of small acts of kindness.
You are already living your life with kindness, and we know that you have ideas to share with us, as well. Here are some that now guide our lives.
Look for ways to say thank you.
It is easy to say, “Thank you,” in response to every thoughtful action, no matter how small it may be. “Thank you” acknowledges the other person’s kindness. We can take that brief connection to a deeper level by adding a comment that expresses our appreciation for their kindness. “You’re very kind” or “I appreciate your kindness” gets a warm response. Once in a while, we share our favorite definition of kindness, “love with its work boots on,” as a way of acknowledging their kindness to us.
Larry has taken this practice to another level. In the grocery store he looks for the woman who arranges the flower display to thank her for the pleasure it gives him to walk by. He notices the man stocking the shelves and stops to say it looks good. Of course, a thank you to the cashier is easy. An additional comment about how busy she is let’s her know someone noticed. Once in a while, he mentions to the store manager how good it is to shop where everyone is pleasant and helpful.
Standing in the checkout line offers an opportunity to connect with people. Larry often uses humor to begin a conversation. Seeing a basket full of wine, beer and snacks, he might ask, “Having a party?” If he gets a positive response, he may say, “What was that address again?”
Most people respond well to a little humor, and it leads to a conversation, no matter how brief.
Learning how to ask for help is an important part of our journey – giving other people the opportunity to be kind. Larry has difficulty bending over enough to reach the ground, so when he drops his keys or something else, he looks for someone to ask for help. “Would you do me a favor?” always gets a positive response. That gives him a chance to say, “I’m Larry. I appreciate your kindness.”
Look for ways to be kind online.
Most of my activities are online, and my interactions are with people I don’t know and will never meet. But we have a connection, no matter how remote it may be. I recently had an email dialogue with a support person who helped me with a problem. Once it was resolved, he sent me an email with the answer. I wrote him back to thank him for his help and wish him well. To my surprise, he responded to me with a thank you and wished me well.
I then realized that people who work online are less likely to receive thanks for what they do. I have begun to look for ways to respond to them with the same kindness that I offer people in front of me. I now often receive emails in response, and I feel the same energetic boost that I get when someone returns a smile.
Of course, some platforms online are designed to help people reach out to each other. They provide the opportunity to ask for or to offer help, and people often respond, providing the information or other help that people need. During the pandemic, we saw offers of free masks, and offers to help anyone who could not get out by buying groceries, running other errands, or just coming by for a visit. At other times, people have often begun a GoFundMe page for someone else, to raise money for a family with a larger need. People are generous when they see they can help someone else.
Look for ways to help someone
I remember so many times when someone stepped up to help me. When my children were young and my arms were full, people often held a door for me or offered to help me carry groceries to the car. At this point in my life, I walk with a walker or use a wheelchair when I go out, and strangers often hold the door for me or ask if I need help.
It’s easy to notice someone with a cane or walker or in a wheelchair. Others in need may not stand out. As we take our kindness practice to the next level, we can be aware of the people around us, and notice if someone may need help. Reaching out may lead to a new connection that enriches both of you.
Even passing someone on the street is an opportunity for a smile and a nod that acknowledges their presence. That brief connection shows them that we see them. I often add a silent greeting, wishing them well. That deepens my feeling of connection and reminds me of our kinship.
Practice being present with other people
It is easy to be superficially polite, saying kind words without really connecting with the other person. But when we give them our full attention, we truly relate to them, and we are able to connect with them at a deeper level.
Expressing interest in others - listening to them and asking questions that enable us to know them better – opens the door to a more meaningful relationship. One benefit of listening with genuine interest is that it keeps us in the present and prevents our minds from wandering to what we plan to do next.
As Mary Lou Casey said, “What most people really need is a good listening to.” I also like what Will Rogers said, in his inimitable way – “Never miss a good chance to shut up.” These are good guidelines for building a relationship, and they have been helpful for me. I used to think that telling people about me was the way to build a relationship, but now I know that being curious about the other person is what opens the door to the next step.
We have come to see that every encounter is a gift. By being fully present, we allow ourselves to find that gift –a chance to help someone or to receive help, a new relationship, learning more about ourselves or others, or perhaps gaining wisdom from the other person.
As we hear the stories of others’ lives, we discover how much we have in common and, we also learn how much our life paths have been different. In the process, we may find that we are expanding our circle of compassion.
We believe that love is who we are – and love is the true nature of every person we meet. The more we connect with one another with this realization, the more we experience our kinship, and that is what will ultimately transform this world into a flourishing place of love and kindness.
Thank you for reading this to the end. 😊
What are your thoughts? If these ideas spoke to you, please share this post and leave a comment below.
We’re grateful that you are on this journey with us.
With love from our hearts to yours,
Pat and Larry
