The Power of Your Thoughts and Words

 

“What we speak

becomes the house we live in."

                                  … Hafiz

 

The thoughts we think and the words we say - to ourselves and to others - affect our feelings about the people who show up in our lives.

How do we let go of thoughts that prevent us from connecting with others?

Start to Notice What You Are Thinking

We’ve talked about putting our judgments on hold, and that takes practice. It is all about noticing what we are thinking, then finding a different way of looking at the other person.

For someone we encounter on the street who appears to be homeless, we can realize that we don’t know enough about their life experience to hold negative judgments about them. We can respond with kindness- even a smile and pleasant greeting is a way of saying, “I see you and acknowledge you.” That is a gift more powerful than you may realize.

The energy we take with us when we’re out in the world is important, but now let’s think about kindness in our families and with our friends. These relationships can be challenging and often trigger us in ways that make it more difficult to be kind.  

If someone holds different views than you do, and tries to persuade you to agree with him, it’s easy to become angry and to argue. If a loved one is short-tempered or impatient with you, it feels natural to respond in kind.

When anyone triggers you to a negative reaction, this is your point of decision.

Can you see the situation from a positive perspective?  Can you accept the other person’s ideas as true for them and decline to argue?

Can you shift to seeing your short-tempered loved one as having a bad day and needing some love?

I once heard some guidance on how to decide what to say in any situation. The advice was to ask yourself if the words you want to say are:

     true,

     beneficial and

     necessary.

Wow! That asks a lot of us.

It requires us to carefully consider what we’re about to say. Not easy to do in the heat of the moment – but afterwards, we can take some quiet time to reflect on our interaction. That will enable us to set an intention to be more mindful of how we are responding to any situation that arises in the future.

This is a big subject that requires a deeper discussion, but now, it is food for thought.

Be Aware of the Words You Are Saying to others

Once you have decided to shift your thinking about your response to someone, you also need to monitor the words you say to others about that person. Words have power.

When someone asks you how things are going, it’s easy to complain about the person and talk about how badly they behaved. If you do, you will experience the negative energy you felt at the time of your last encounter and you will spread that energy with your words.

Why not talk about a pleasant memory or a time when you acted with kindness and the person responded in kind. You will be doing yourself and your friend a favor – and the other person, too.

Your words carry energy, and they affect you as well as anyone who hears them. What energy do you want to carry within you and put out in the world?

Be patient with yourself. This takes practice. But first it takes awareness. We start by noticing our own thoughts and feelings and how we express them. Then we notice the response of others to what we say to them.

That gives us the insights to support us as we shift to a more positive way of being with others.

When I first began noticing my reactions, I was amazed at how much negativity I was adding to my interactions with others. That was a big incentive to change myself.

It has been a long process. I’m still working on this. I still catch myself reacting with annoyance or impatience from time to time, but I am doing better now than I used to do.

Our automatic reactions are habitual. Changing them takes time and a desire to change how we interact with others.

It is a journey. We take one step at a time as we’re changing a habit. Notice how much better you feel when you bring kindness rather than annoyance with you when you interact with loved ones or other people you meet in your daily life

Our thoughts and words determine how we feel, how we respond to others and how they respond to us. As Hafiz said, our words do become the house we live in.

 

What are your thoughts? Please leave a comment below.

 

Help us spread the message of kindness.

If you know others who might appreciate these ideas, please share below.

 

We’re grateful that you are on this journey with us.

With love from our hearts to yours,

Pat and Larry