Living with Kindness Is a Choice
What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide
what kind of difference you want to make.
- Jane Goodall -
This is a reposting of a previous message. I am temporarily unable to write a new post, but I expect that I will be back next week.
As Larry and I continue to explore what it means to us to live with kindness, we have discovered that there are several aspects of the kindness path that are defined by words that begin with the letter C.
Here is a good starting point:
Choice
Choosing kindness is a choice of love over the fear and despair that cause many people to stop believing in their power to make a difference in the world, even in their own lives.
It is a conscious choice to be on a path of kindness, no matter how other people show up.
That choice for us is grounded in our vision of the world we want to live in. We have a vision of a better world in which more people live with kindness and consideration for each other. That has become the template for our lives today.
When we choose to live that way, our lives help to strengthen the power of love and kindness in the world. We uplift our own lives and the lives of those we encounter.
Being on a kindness path is not just about random acts of kindness. It is a choice to become the change we wish to see in the world. It is a conscious decision to live as love in action.
Think of yourself as love with its work boots on, not passively sitting at home thinking kind thoughts, but out in the world, bringing love with you wherever you go. When you make that choice, you engage the transformative power of love in your life.
When you choose a kindness path, you are not just choosing to act kindly. You are choosing to be kind because that becomes who you are. With that realization, you understand that it is never about how someone else is behaving. It is about you – who you choose to be.
What is a Kindness Path?
We each walk a kindness path in our own unique way. There is no right or wrong way.
For some people, it means continuing their habit of small acts of kindness as they go through their day.
For some, it may mean expanding their circle of kindness to include people they had passed by but had not noticed before, as if they were just part of the background in their daily lives.
For some people, it may mean joining together with others by volunteering for an organization that is helping people meet their needs or enhance their lives in some way.
Each path makes a difference in their lives and in the world.
Allowing Others
A key to walking any kindness path is choosing to allow other people to show up as they are. That means not overreacting to them, no matter how they behave.
When my daughter, Christie, was a pre-teen, she was with me in a store as I was checking out. I don’t remember what was said, but I felt the cashier had been rude to me, and I was unkind in my response. I remember feeling a certain self-righteousness – How dare she talk to me that way!
I noticed Christie looked uncomfortable. When I asked her later about it, she told me she had been embarrassed. That was a wake-up call for me. It forced me to look at myself, and what I saw wasn’t pretty.
I knew that I had to change my reactions to others. It has been a long process. I still catch myself reacting with annoyance or impatience from time to time, but I feel better, now, than I used to feel about how I usually show up in the world.
We do not go from reacting to allowing overnight. I have failed many times to respond with kindness. Our automatic reactions are habitual. Changing them takes time and a desire to change how we interact with others.
It helps me when I realize that I do not have enough information to judge others. I do not know their life story, and if I did, I would probably understand why they’re making the choices that they are making now in their lives.
But I don’t need to know their story. I can be kind because it is who I am – rather than being unkind, because of who I judge them to be.
Be Patient with Yourself
We have to be patient with ourselves on this journey. It takes practice. But first it takes awareness. We start by noticing our own thoughts and feelings and how we express them. Then we notice the response of others to how we treat them.
It is a journey. We take one step at a time, as we’re building a new habit. Notice how much better you feel when you bring kindness rather than annoyance with you when you go out in the world.
I invite you to choose your own kindness path and to explore, with us, as we continue to share the rest of the 9 Cs of kindness.
Above all, enjoy your journey.
Image by reneebigelow from Pixabay
We invite you to enjoy our favorite song about choice:
I CHOOSE LOVE - SHAWN GALLAWAY
The 9 Cs of kindness are words that describe important aspects of a kindness journey. We invite you to check them out: Choice, Commitment, Connection, Curiosity, Courage, Compassion, Change, Community, Celebration
