Kindness as Currency in the Gifting Economy
For it is in giving that we receive.
~ Saint Francis of Assisi
This week, I want to take you down a more personal path, to show you the power of kindness in an individual life. What we give in this world does return to us in a way that meets our needs at the perfect time. This story also demonstrates the powerful economy of gifting, in which the currency is kindness, rather than money.
This is Bill’s story.
We met Bill at the Haywood Street Church, where we volunteered to be in community with our unhoused neighbors. He had spent the previous two years trying to prevent the progression of renal disease in his body. Circumstances in his life brought him to Asheville at the time that his kidneys had failed, and he needed to begin dialysis. When we met him, Larry and I both had an inner recognition that he is part of our family.
With his savings depleted and unable to work to earn a living, he was about to be homeless. We invited him into our home and our lives, a decision that enriched our lives in many ways. Bill is a kind, generous person who enjoys being of service to others. He was a welcome member of our family, joyfully contributing to household chores.
The three of us also continued to be part of the Haywood Street Community, being part of a weekly Story Circle, in which people came together to tell their stories and share ideas about life. We also joined others at the Welcome Table and enjoyed a homecooked meal with our neighbors who live on the street, including them in our lives.
Living on disability income, Bill had few options, but three years ago, he was able to get a nice apartment in a building subsidized by the federal government. He immediately made friends with many of the elderly residents, and he became the go-to person for anyone who needed help with electronics or fixing whatever broke.
Then came the big surprise that made him wonder how he deserved it. A life-long friend gave him the car he had bought for his daughter when she went to college. He bought her a new one when she graduated, and he gave the old one to Bill. Now Bill was able to help his friends even more, taking them grocery shopping or taking their shopping lists with him when he went to the store.
A year ago, on Christmas day, he got a call that a kidney had become available for him, and the next day, he got the best Christmas gift he had ever received. After a short recovery from the transplant surgery, he began his new life, free of dialysis.
One of his favorite people is 100-year-old Myrtle. Last October, she fell and called Bill. He called for an ambulance and followed her to the hospital. For the next few days, he visited her and took care of things back home. Then, for the next few months, he spent time with her daily, helping her with whatever she needed, including helping her granddaughter plan her 100th birthday party.
Myrtle is doing well now. Bill still takes her shopping and runs errands for her, and always answers the phone when she calls, even in the middle of the night. He is there for her.
Meanwhile, he continues to take care of other friends, including Tyler, who sometimes needs help shopping. He has been a good friend to her, encouraging her through some difficult times. They have also become closer, and he has been spending more time with her.
Recently, Bill’s car developed a serious issue that required a repair more expensive than the car was worth. Tyler said he could use her car to do her shopping, and she recently told Bill that, not only can he use her car whenever he needs it, but she has added a codicil to her will, leaving her car to him.
It is hard to take in the immensity of what seem to be unearned gifts, but Bill’s life demonstrates the power of kindness and the sure but mysterious way that what we give returns to us. He is constantly giving to others without expecting anything back, and now, what he needs comes into his life.
His experience is an example of the gifting economy, which is a very healthy sub-set of our financial economy. The currency of the gifting economy is not money, but gifts that we give to others – not in exchange for something back, but as natural expressions of our innate kindness. These include our time and attention, our knowledge and skills, our love and compassion.
We have a vibrant gifting economy in our country and around the world – people helping friends in unexpected ways, looking out for one another, volunteering at local charities or hospitals or schools.
Bill has given freely and abundantly, so, of course, it had to flow back to him in the form of what he needs. It is difficult for most of us to see his new way of life as an alternative form of economy, but it has been with us for millennia at the personal level, and it was a way of life in indigenous cultures around the world.
.As the world changes, we will still be able to live with kindness, to share our gifts with one another and to receive back what we need. This is an economy made possible by community, an expression of remembering that we belong to one another.
If you are reading this, you are already living with kindness. Please share with us ways that you are participating in the gifting economy.
What are your thoughts? Please leave a comment below.
Help us spread the message of kindness.
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We’re grateful that you are on this journey with us.
With love from our hearts to yours,
Pat and Larry
