How Do You Want to Show Up in the World?

 

"A vision is not just a picture of what could be;

it is an appeal to our better selves,

a call to become something more"

                                  … Rosabeth Moss Kanter

As we observe and participate in our world today, sometimes we wonder how we got to this point of division. But when we stop to consider the larger picture, we realize that the powerful force of love and kindness is showing up all around us, as an antidote to separation and even hatred.

So many people are living their lives with kindness and concern for others that it is easy to see our vision of a kinder, more peaceful world emerging around us. It is not just whimsical thinking. We know it is possible – not overnight, but over time - as more and more of us decide to live our lives with love and compassion, seeing no stranger, but remembering that we are all family.

Many of us feel called to be the change we want to see in the world, but how do we do that?

We do it by bringing awareness to every action we take as we go through our day, and then deciding if it is adding to or working against our vision of the world that we want to live in.

We each get to ask what we are being called to do in our daily lives. For many of us, walking a kindness path is answering that call. Our kindness practice not only enriches our lives, but it also enriches the world we live in.

We all have within us the potential for anger, fear, hatred, intolerance. It’s easy to get angry, to be offended, to judge the other person as wrong and to react according to that idea. We also have within us love, non-judgment, and compassion. 

When we choose to live with kindness, we are choosing to stop reacting out of fear, judgment, or anger. When those feelings arise, we can acknowledge them, but make a clear decision not to let them run our lives.

 

There is a Cherokee parable:

An old chief was teaching his grandson about life…

“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves.

One is filled with anger, envy, greed, arrogance, resentment, self-pity, and lies.
The other is full of joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, compassion, truth and faith.

This same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,

“Which wolf will win?”

The old chief simply replied,

 “The one you feed.”

We all get to choose which one we feed.

Most of us feed both wolves as we go through our daily lives. We’re human. We’re living in a challenging world. People and circumstances trigger us, and it’s easy to react rather than responding thoughtfully.

We do have the ability to decide how we will respond, rather than reacting by habit. But habits are strong. So how do we move from reacting to a more thoughtful, kinder way of responding to others?

It requires us to have a clear intention to do so – and a vision of how we want to show up in the world.

Then, we need to pay attention, notice our reactions, and catch ourselves when we are adding to a difficult situation rather than easing it. This is not a way of making us feel bad that we didn’t do better. It’s a way of becoming aware and intending to respond in a better way next time.

 

There is no right or wrong on the kindness path.

It is a journey, and each step takes us further along the path.

Sometimes we encounter obstacles – challenges that are more difficult to overcome. Some people really push our buttons more than others. Sometimes, we feel so passionately about a situation that we see people who disagree with us as enemies rather than good people who have different ideas than we do.

 It’s easy to fall back into habitual reactions of anger or judgment or defensiveness. This is a challenge for most of us, but also an opportunity to shift our perspective. We can see one another as fellow humans, each on our own life journey – and realize that we have each become who we are as a result of our life experiences and the influence of the people in our lives and the ideas that we have been exposed to.

When we decide to show up in the world with kindness, we give each other a break. We look past our differences and find common ground on which to connect in a friendly way.

It may be easier to begin with neutral encounters. We can move from the easier friendly greeting for a stranger in the grocery store to the more challenging kind greeting for a person who is being rude. Then, with more time, we can find understanding and develop compassion for those we see now as our opponents.

 

Step by step. Be patient with yourself.

Ask yourself which wolf you are feeding today.

Love both wolves. They are both a part of you.

Then gently feed the one you want to show up in the world.

     Image by Jill Wellington from Pixabay 

 

What are your thoughts? Please leave a comment below.

 

Help us spread the message of kindness.

If you know others who might appreciate these ideas, please share below.

 

We’re grateful that you are on this journey with us.

With love from our hearts to yours,

Pat and Larry