Happiness and Kindness Dance Together

Remember that the happiest people are not those

getting more, but those giving more.

Jackson Brown, Jr

A few weeks ago, a contagiously happy woman came bubbling into our life, and we want you to meet her. Kelli Pease hosts the Happsters website, and she nurtures and shares her happiness through her blogs and simple practices that help her to stay happy, no matter what else is going on in her life. Kelli created a practice that she calls the “Happsters Weekly 3.” She has found that rituals keep her focused and grounded, and this one is a simple and effective way to stay in the happiness zone throughout the week:

Every Sunday, I pull out an index card and divide it into 3 sections: MONDAY INTENTION // WEDNESDAY GRATITUDE // FRIDAY JOY
On Monday mornings, I write what my intention is for the week under “Monday Intention.”
On Wednesday mornings, I write 3 things I’m grateful for in that moment.
On Friday mornings, I write a simple thing that I’m looking forward to that day. It’s always something that I think will bring me joy. Sometimes it’s more than 1 thing!
(OPTIONAL) At the end of the week, I snap a photo and text it to one of my friends and she sends me hers.

Kelli believes that happiness comes from focusing on the 4 Gs: Gratitude, Growth, Giving & Gathering, so she focuses on these four elements in her life and in her writing. In our conversation, she shared with us about the role they play in her life and how kindness is an important part of her life.

Kindness

I believe that being kind to others contributes greatly to our happiness. When we make others happy through acts of kindness, it gives us an instant boost. Just smiling at a stranger on the street can create an energy exchange that feeds both you and the other person. In fact when I used to run women’s happiness groups a few years ago, the members would always tell me their favorite activity was when we gave away flowers to people walking by on the street. We did all kinds of activities in our events, but practicing kindness and giving to others was consistently the thing that brought us all the most joy. When we practice gratitude, growth, giving and gathering regularly, it naturally brings joy and happiness to our lives.

Gratitude

There’s a reason why writing down what you’re grateful for has become so trendy. Practicing gratitude has been linked to an increase in happiness and a decrease in depression I’ve found that when I switch up what I’m grateful for each day, it’s even more effective in increasing my happiness. So instead of consistently writing down that you’re thankful for “family” or “friends,” try to challenge yourself to come up with some other things you’re grateful for. Is the sun shining? Is your couch super comfortable? The more thought you give it, the more you’ll come up with great things you have in your life to be thankful for.

My favorite gratitude practices to do regularly include thinking of what I’m grateful for as I’m falling asleep at night, starting off Monday mornings by writing down the people, places and things I’m grateful for, and mailing unexpected thank you notes to people who have made a difference in my life.

Growth

When I talk about growth in the 4G’s of happiness, I'm really referring to focusing on having a growth mindset, being curious, and learning new things. People who have a growth mindset (instead of a fixed mindset) tend to be happier and more at peace than those who have a fixed mindset. One of the most important aspects of my own growth has been the realization that everyone goes through setbacks in life and it's how you handle them that really matters. The key for me is to not let those knock me down and instead challenge myself to look for the lesson in each one. Journaling has really helped me to find the hidden lessons along the way. Other ways I include growth into my life include reading personal development books and taking courses about topics I’m interested in. Finally, practicing mindfulness has been a large part of my growth journey and it’s very important for me to have a consistent morning routine that includes some kind of meditation practice.

Giving

“The Joy of Giving” isn’t just a popular phrase! Giving really does bring joy and happiness. A 2017 study found that people are happier overall when they give to others and that the more that people give, the happier they tend to be. I was so inspired by how much my women’s group loved giving and receiving flowers (as mentioned previously) that last year I set out on a mission to give away one million flowers. I now have a cut flower garden and have an amazing local market that donates flowers to the cause. I still have a ways to go until I hit one million flowers, but I won’t ever get tired of seeing the joy it brings to the recipients.

Gathering

Loneliness is at an all-time high right now with the rise of COVID. Unfortunately, it has been harder than ever to maintain friendships and gather with people in real life lately, but we all crave connection and friendship and need it for our health and happiness. In fact, friends become increasingly important to health and happiness as people age, according to research in the journal Personal Relationships. Even if it's a virtual form of getting together, anything helps! I regularly gather with friends and family and make that time together a priority in my life. When possible, I host gatherings at my house around certain topics that I know we’re all interested in. Sometimes we’ll have a full moon circle and talk about astrology, and other times we have taco-rating parties, where we order tacos from a few different restaurants and rate all of their elements to find the best taco in San Diego. Good times! The important part is that we’re all together and as present as possible.

Thinking about the 4 G’s at the beginning of each week has been a great way for me to center and remember about what I value in life. It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day and the 4 G’s have been an amazing anchor for me.

We appreciate Kelli for sharing her heart with us and for sharing new ways that we can bring more happiness and kindness into our lives.

Click here to learn more about her journey and to check out her blog.

Help unlock the power of flowers.

Click below to read the resources Kelli mentioned:

Giving Makes Everyone Happier

The Growth Mindset and Happiness

How Gratitude Changes Your Brain

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We’re grateful that you are on this journey with us.