Embrace Curiosity on Your Kindness Journey 

                            If you understand each other,                                                               you will be kind to each other.                                                                      John  Steinbeck

 

We all make judgments about others, based on attitudes we acquired from our families or from our own experiences. When we withhold kindness from someone because of those judgments, we can be aware that we do not have enough information. We can choose to wonder about them.

Here is where I can call on my curiosity. I can open the door to connection by greeting someone I might have avoided before with a smile and a nod, or a simple greeting. As I reach out in this way, I acknowledge the other person, and a connection is made. A short conversation may follow, and if I listen with an open mind and open heart, I will begin to see that we share certain experiences or hopes for our lives.

Of course, I don’t need to get to know someone in order to drop my judgments. I can change the way I am looking at them. By looking through a kindness lens, I can see that each person is doing the best he or she can in this moment.

 

Curiosity brings me back into my heart

I could ask myself:

If I had been born into the life that she was born into, what would my childhood have been like and who would I be now? What economic opportunities and support systems did I have that he did not have? What mental or physical disabilities are contributing to her behavior now?

What natural talents was he born with that his life path did not enable him to develop, so he is not now enjoying the expression of those talents and being supported by them? Did he have anyone supporting and loving him as he grew up, or was he on his own, even as a child, to figure out how to survive in this world?

I don’t know the answers to any of these questions, and the answers would help me to understand why he is showing up in the world now in the way that he is.

Those answers would open my heart and enable me to see him as another myself – another person wanting to be seen and accepted, wanting to be loved and to express love, wanting all his basic needs to be met so he could have the space in his life to become all that he is capable of.

When I am back in my heart, kindness flows easily.

Curiosity also invites change. It might even open the door for us to look at our own lives:

Who am I excluding from my kindness?

Our judgments usually come from attitudes in our families or peer group, or from our previous experiences. Over time, they become a part of us. When we make a conscious choice to live with kindness, we are called to look at people through a more compassionate lens.

Self-reflection can be uncomfortable, but it often helps us to understand ourselves better. We may ask why it is so hard to be kind to some people. By considering our thoughts and feelings, we might gain insights that will enable us to soften our judgments and expand our kindness practice.

What can I do to make a difference in my community or in the world?

I might be curious about why my city would pass an ordinance that makes it illegal for homeless people to “loiter” or to sleep anywhere in the city, even though they have no homes. I might wonder why there are no shelter beds available and few public bathrooms.

I might wonder what I can do to help provide support for people who desperately need it, and then look for ways that I can volunteer for an organization that is providing food and supporting services.

We each have an inner calling for us to make a difference in the world. Larry and I feel called to help our neighbors on the street. We have become curious about the whole homeless issue and what we can do in our community to create solutions.

Your calling might be to help children and families, or animals or nature. Whatever the focus of your extended kindness, it may begin with simply wondering what you could do to make a difference.

Curiosity can plant a seed of change

It may change the way we see each other. Just a little softening of our attitude may allow us, over time, to expand our circle of kindness. As a result, we will enrich our lives and the lives of the people we meet during our day.

We wish you joy as you unleash your curiosity.

     Image by Vicki Hamilton from Pixabay

The 7 Cs of kindness are words that define important aspects of a kindness journey. We invite you to check out the others: Choice, Commitment, Connection, Curiosity, Courage, Compassion and Change.

 

What are your thoughts?  Please leave a comment below.

Help us spread the message of kindness. If you know others who might appreciate these ideas, please share below.

Click here if you would like to receive a weekly email with links to our current posts.

We’re grateful that you are on this journey with us.

With love from our hearts to yours,

Pat and Larry