Commitment to Kindness Becomes a Way of Life
Continue to be who and how you are,
to astonish a mean world with your acts of kindness.
Maya Angelou
When we make the choice to live with kindness, we are choosing a way of life that invites us to think differently about how we meet each day. That choice brings with it a commitment to start where we are and to be more aware of opportunities to be kind as we go through our day.
Planting Seeds
Every act of kindness is like a seed that we are planting in our world, knowing that each one helps to create the kinder world that we envision. Often, we receive immediate feedback in the form of a smile or a pleasant comment in return, but sometimes, we do not get a response. It is helpful to remember that we are planting seeds, and seeds need time to grow.
We are all planting seeds of some kind, and we get to decide what kind of seeds we’re planting. When we choose seeds of kindness, in time, we will reap an abundant harvest in our lives, but we won’t see many others who will benefit in their lives from the seeds that we planted.
Commitments to Ourselves
As we keep planting those seeds, it is helpful to develop habits that support expanding the reach of our kindness practice. We can make commitments to ourselves:
To be aware of opportunities to be kind
A key to a satisfying kindness journey is staying conscious of the people around us. When we stay present in the moment, we notice people and we can see ways to respond to them with kindness.
It may be as simple as smiling and acknowledging someone or making a pleasant comment. It might be inviting someone behind us in line to go ahead of us or stepping up to help someone by opening a door or carrying something for them. It may, at times, require more of us.
We get to decide in every encounter how to respond.
To acknowledge kindness when we receive it or observe it
There are no insignificant acts of kindness. Every small act of kindness matters. For many people, small kind acts are their way of being in the world.
When we receive their kindness, it is so easy to thank them. Beyond that courtesy, we like to say, “You are very kind,” as an acknowledgment. Sometimes, we tell them our favorite definition of kindness – “Love with its work boots on,” and then say, “That is you.”
We each have our own way of receiving kindness. It is part of the joy of the kindness path.
To graciously receive other people’s kindness
Many of us are so used to being self-sufficient that we automatically turn other people’s kindness away. It is easy to reject an offer of help, saying, “I’m fine, thanks,” even if a little help would be welcome.
One evening, we were with friends at a local Waffle House restaurant. While we were enjoying our meal and each other’s company, two men from the table behind me were leaving, and one of them presented me with a large feather, without a word. Taken by surprise, I thanked him, then he was gone before I could say anything else. To this day, that feather reminds me of the kindness of a stranger, and it has a special place on my desk.
Kindness is a circle, always in flow. If no one is willing to receive kindness, no one will be able to give it. I hope the stranger with the feather felt the joy that I experienced in receiving his gift.
As an aside: Larry says, “Remember to make an occasional trip to a Waffle House and mingle with the salt of Earth.” 😊
To look honestly at ourselves
Setting time aside for reflection is helpful as we navigate our kindness path.
Looking back at the end of the day helps me to see:
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When was I kind and to whom?
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How did it feel?
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Where was I hesitant to be kind and why?
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Who am I excluding from my kindness?
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What judgments in me prevent me from being kind?
I can ask myself:
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“What could I do next time to overcome the hesitance that prevented me from being kind this time.”
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“What am I afraid of?”
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“Why?”
This process of reflection helps us to understand ourselves better, so we can be more comfortable the next time life presents us with similar encounters. It helps us to decide when and how to expand the circle of our kindness.
To be kind to ourselves in the process
There is no right or wrong way to walk a kindness path. We each get to choose our way of bringing love out into the world. It is important that you're kind to yourself, not asking more than you are comfortable giving at this moment.
We invite you to commit to whatever level of kindness that you choose. Then, when you are ready, you may want to take it up a notch – going from kindness in comfortable situations to those that are more challenging. It can be a bit scary, but also exhilarating when we step out of our comfort zone.
We thank you for choosing to bring your kindness out into a world that needs all the love it can get. You do make a difference with every act of kindness.
We wish you love and joy on your journey.
Image by John Hain from Pixabay
A few months ago I was helped by a competent and knowledgeable person at my bank in a complicated ( it seemed to me) matter. On the way out, I said to her “ This bank is lucky to have you.” She looked startled and tears formed in her eyes. She said several words of thanks and then reported that no one had ever said that to her and she was just doing her job.
My thought is that even if people are just doing their jobs, noticing them and giving appreciation is very important. We all need to be kinder and more generous today more than ever to combat the toxicity of discourse emanating from the national political realm. Keep up the good word to seed a kinder world.
Thank you Barb. How wonderful it is to discover the power that we have to uplift others. Simple words of acknowledgement go a long way, and they require so little of us.
You are love in action in a world that needs it.