A Man of Peace
A Tribute to Balbir Singh Sodhi
This may be the world's only hope for peace:
that all of us, brothers and sisters and strangers alike,
understand we meet as guests together in 'God's own tent.'
- Sister Marilyn Lacey –
A Man of Peace
A man of peace,
tending his flowers
to add beauty to the world
and uplift passers-by.
A man of peace,
wearing a turban,
testament of his commitment
to love all humanity.
A man of peace,
target of hate and ignorance
orchestrated by a “patriot”
who knew not what a treasure
he took from the world.
A man of peace,
calling to our hearts
to forgive one another
and to live in peace,
shining the light of love
and obliterating hate.
Thank you, Balbir,
for living your life in peace,
and for giving your life
to spread the message of love.
As we approach the 20th anniversary of the attack on the Twin Towers in New York City on 9/11 2001, in the United States, we are reminded of a day of tragedy in our country. For those who lost loved ones on that day, it is a more personal memory – of people whose lives were cut short by an act of violence and hatred that is hard to understand.
The tragedy of that day also had a ripple effect. People felt vulnerable, as their sense of safety evaporated. For some, their fear developed into hate - hate for those who took away their sense of safety.
Balbir Singh Sodhi was the first person killed in the wave of thousands of acts of hatred that followed 9/11. The victims were people who resembled, in some way, the men who attacked our country, as if guilt for a personal action can be spread to all others of a similar religion or country or physical appearance. People who looked like “others” became the enemy.
The tragic irony is that Balbir was a man of peace, whose Sikh religion instructed him to live with love, compassion and forgiveness. But out of this tragedy, also, came a gift to the world.
For twenty years, his brother, Rana Sodhi, has been speaking to high school students, religious groups and politicians. He has used Balbir’s story to spread the message of love, non-judgment and forgiveness, even in the face of hate and injustice. He and a few family members also reached out to his brother’s murderer to forgive him, and they discovered the humanity in the man who took their loved one from them. I will share that story with you at a later time.
I learned of Balbir’s story from Valarie Kaur, whose life was greatly impacted by his life and his death. As a response, she knew that she needed to dedicate her life to providing an alternative to the hatred that took the life of the man she called “Uncle.”
Valarie is a civil rights attorney, award-winning filmmaker, and founder of The Revolutionary Love Project. She believes that we can reclaim love as a force for justice and build a future together that is grounded in love. I will share more with you about Valarie and her work, but for now, let’s focus on Balbir.
He and his brothers had come to America in 1989 to escape religious persecution against Sikhs in India. He worked as a computer engineer and analyst for Hewlett-Packard until he saved enough money to buy a gas station and several affiliated franchises in the Phoenix, Arizona area.
Remembering a man of peace
Valarie describes Balbir as a kind-hearted and generous man, whom many called “Uncle.” She tells us that “he would give candy to children who came to his gas station as if they were his own children. He let people who didn’t have money for gas fill up and go. His brothers would shake their heads in disbelief. Was he a saint or a fool? But Balbir Uncle would just smile, saying God wants us to serve all.”
On September 15, as they do every year, his family and friends will gather at the location of his murder to honor his memory and to imagine a more peaceful future in which we live together with love. On that day, they will be in my thoughts and in my heart.
Valarie has provided a way for us to send a prayer or message to Balbir’s family. Her team will bind the messages into a book, and she will present it to the family at the memorial. If you feel moved to participate, you can go to https://valariekaur.com/911hub/#vigil.
What have we learned?
Balbir’s story has impacted me at a deep level. The stark contrast between a man of peace and a man driven by hatred provides an opportunity for us to consider our own lives.
Do we see some people that we don’t know as “Other” - a threat because of their appearance or religion or country of origin or different point of view?
Have we ever acted from fear or judgment because we saw someone as different and not deserving our kindness?
Do we ever think of the actions of a few people who are different from us and assume that they represent everyone in their group (religion, ethnicity, political views), thereby closing our mind and heart to all of them?
At this time in our history, it has become imperative that we take off the lens through which we see each other and remember our shared humanity. Let’s remember who we really are - individuals living as best we know how - each of us wanting to have a peaceful life, with all of our needs met and with opportunities for self-expression and meaningful work. We all want a peaceful world for ourselves and our families and for the children who are growing up in our world today.
We are so much more alike than we are different. We CAN rise above the differences, if we choose to, and live together in peace.
Valaie Kaur says of Balbir’s brother, “Rana refuses to leave anyone outside our circle of care. What if we could do that as a country? It would be revolutionary.”
Yes, it would be a different kind of revolution. Can you imagine a revolution of love? It would transform the world.
Valarie asks, “What would the next 20 years look like if we valued human dignity above all? Let's find out together.”
Larry and I believe that we CAN transform the world if enough of us commit to rising above our judgments of others and seeing them through eyes of love.
Since you are reading this, we assume that you are already a part of the revolution of love. Every act of kindness is love in action. Together, we are making the world a kinder, gentler, more peaceful place.
Please let us know your thoughts on this message.
We know this is a difficult issue, and we welcome your honest response.
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We are enjoying this journey with you!
Love from our hearts to yours,
Pat and Larry
