Seeing Others Through a Kindness Lens

 

The true greatness of a person is evident in the way he or she

 treats those with whom courtesy and kindness are not required.

                                  ~ Joseph B. Wirthlin

 

Most people are kind, but circumstances often determine when and where we express our kindness.

Someone is rude to me.

It is natural for us to respond to other people in the way that they have treated us.

If someone is rude, we respond in kind, almost as an instinct to protect ourselves. We are not reacting to dangerous animals that threaten our lives, as our distant ancestors did, but we do feel attacked by their treatment of us.

Of course, we are not really in danger, but ego jumps in and says, “How dare you talk to me that way?” We allow the behavior of others to determine how we respond, as if kindness were a transaction, something that needs to be earned. When we do that, we give our power away.

I believe that someone doesn’t deserve my kindness.

Our response is often determined by the judgments that we hold about others. It might be homeless people on the street or people who seem to be on drugs. It might be someone we see being rude to other people. It might be someone that we know has a different political view. We each have our own list.

We feel uncomfortable as we see these people on the street, and it’s easier to avoid them or to ignore them as we pass. We allow our judgments to determine our response, and we make exceptions to the choice that we have made to live with kindness.

We make it about them, but it is always about us.

We can choose to see through a kindness lens.

Once we make a commitment to ourselves to live with kindness, over time, that becomes who we are. It takes practice.

If someone is rude to me or if I hold judgments about them, I can respond with kindness more easily if I shift the way I see them. I can look at them through a kindness lens. Then, I see them differently. I allow them to be as they are showing up now.

I do not know what’s going on in someone else’s life, but I can give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they are dealing with challenges and doing the best they know how to do in this moment.

They do not need to earn my kindness.

When I choose to be kind, I am claiming my power to be who I want to be in the world. And that choice enriches my life.

We invite you to be patient with yourself as you try on your kindness lens, and we wish you joy on your kindness journey.

     Image by John Hain from Pixabay

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We’re grateful that you are on this journey with us.

With love from our hearts to yours,

Pat and Larry