Kindness Is More Than an Action
After a while, kindness is not just an act you’re doing.
It becomes who you are.
Nipun Mehta*
Most people are kind in their daily activities, given circumstances that are comfortable and with people who are familiar. We find it easy to greet each other and say a few words of acknowledgement. These are acts of kindness that make the day more pleasant for everyone involved, and they provide a strong platform on which we can expand the reach of our kindness.
The challenge is finding a way to be kind to people outside of our comfort zone – people who seem to be different from us, who are harder for us to relate to. We often have unconscious reasons to be uneasy or we hold judgments that prevent us from reaching out to them.
What we do know, if we stop for a moment to think about it, is that we do not know enough about others to shut them out. So why do we hesitate?
It isn’t about them. It’s about us.
If we want to live in a kind world, then we get to demonstrate in our lives what that world would look like.
We get to ask ourselves, “Who do I want to be?”
Many people feel no desire to expand their circle of kindness. That’s okay. They are still making a difference in the world with every act of kindness.
For some people, kindness is not just a way of acting in the world. They want it to be a way of being. For them, over time, it becomes who they are.
That doesn’t happen overnight. It requires us to find within us the courage to let other people into our life.
It becomes easier to reach out when we realize that we are each on a unique life path but sharing the same need for acceptance from others.
Changing from an old, habitual way of reacting to others takes practice. It doesn’t happen in a day.
How do we get there from where we are right now?
It begins with having an intention to live with kindness in all our encounters, then holding that vision as we go through our day.
It means letting go of our judgments, and accepting people as they are.
It means rising above an old habit of reacting to others, and acting as the person we have chosen to be.
It means expressing kindness in all our encounters, without requiring peopl to “deserve it.”
It means simply being kind and ignoring the logical reasons that try to dissuade us.
It means silently asking in all encounters, “How can I show up here with love and compassion?”
It means remembering the bigger picture – we are all flawed human beings, each doing the best we know how at this moment, and we’re in this life together for a reason.
When we embody kindness, we intend to live with love, compassion and non-judgment – in our thoughts, our words and our actions.
None of us will accomplish this all the time. But living with that intention, we will move closer to it with practice. It is a journey without end. Let it be an adventure
When we make that choice, we have the exquisite joy of being kindness.
It becomes who we are.
Photo by Ryunosuke Kikuno on Unsplash
*Nipun Mehta is the founder of ServiceSpace.
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We’re grateful that you are on this journey with us.
With love from our hearts to yours,
Pat and Larry
My practice of daily kindness outside of my circle of friends is an act of love from my heart to theirs. I find that the more I do it, the easier it becomes. Yesterday, I joined my old time friend and others downtown at Pack Square in Asheville, NC to hand out fliers regarding Unifying us in a heartfelt way. The fliers said Unifying the Best of the RED and Blue into a Purple Nation regarding moving past false divisions and propaganda. The Purple Nation is a non-partisan group of citizens dedicated to bringing people together to seek the Truth and find Common Ground. Pack Square was crowded with vendors selling their artisan wares. I was able to pass out about 65 fliers, mostly to the vendors. Some visitors said no thank you politely, but one woman became so irate with me that it stopped me in my tracts. I smiled at her and moved on. I felt her anger and could almost feel her pain. Emotionally struck by this out lash, I knew in just a few moments not to take it personally, but to just smile which was my act of kindness and move on, which I did. I had to laugh at myself knowing this newer me took the high kind road instead of the older me that at least would have taken it personally and probably would have sassed her back. YAY to the on going practice of Kindness. Grateful am I!
Thank you, Maggie, for sharing your experience with us. You provide a clear example of the process of personal growth that comes when we decide to follow a kindness path. It isn’t always easy, but with practice, we learn to respond with more love. I am grateful to have you in our kindness community!
Very well put Pat.
From the heart to other hearts.
Thank you