Do We Belong to Each Other? 

Tomorrow belongs to those of us
who conceive of it as belonging to everyone,
who lend the best of ourselves to it, and with joy.
Audre Lorde

I have been pondering this question lately – Do we belong to each other?

When we think of belonging, we usually think of owning something – that car belongs to me or this coat is mine. That means that I am in control of it. But there’s also another meaning of belonging. It’s not a possession kind of belonging. It is a deep connection, a soul connection, something that uplifts us and sustains us through difficult times 

My first conscious realization of this kind of belonging came to me through my relationship with Sue Sikking. Sue was a close family friend. When I was just two years out of college, I moved to California to begin a job in Palos Verdes. Sue was minister of the Unity Church in Santa Monica, and I was often able to spend weekends with her. During every visit, she shared her heart and her wisdom with me. From that relationship, I learned many things about myself and about how best to navigate my often-challenging life journey. 

Years later, when my children were teenagers, we were on vacation in California. I visited Sue, who was then in a nursing home because of her advanced Alzheimer’s. I was warned that she would probably not remember me. When I approached her as she sat alone in her wheelchair, she looked up at me, gave me a radiant smile and said, “You belong to me!” “Yes, I do,” I said, fighting back tears that were a mixture of grief and joy. We had a heart connection that was greater than the power of her physical condition.

Later that day, I was able to join her for lunch. By then, she did not remember who I was. She could not feed herself, and I was able to spoon feed her. After a while, she looked at me and said, “Take me home with you.” I told her that if I could, I would, as I fought back tears.

That was one of the most uplifting and heart-breaking days of my life. To this day, whenever I look at her picture on my desk, I say, “Yes, Sue. I belong to you.”

Recently, Larry and I have been exploring the idea of belonging to one another. We feel a sense of belonging when we’re with close friends or family members with whom we have a heart connection. Our larger intention is to expand our sense of belonging to include everyone we meet. Can we see each one as a part of our larger family, with whom we are connected at a deeper level, no matter how they are showing up in this moment?

This requires us to let go of our judgments about their behavior in this moment and to see the larger picture of our shared humanity. We really are in this world together. Imagine how different the world would be if we remembered our kinship, instead of focusing on the differences that keep us apart and help us to see each other as enemies.

We all have the power to help create the emerging world as one of connection and belonging. The choices that we make every day will determine how quickly that world will emerge from the chaos and disconnection that we see around us.

Now is the time to claim our power and to live in the realization of our oneness, to the best of our ability. You may not see the whole world changing, but you will see your part of the world taking on a new lightness, as you reach out with love in each encounter and feel that love flow back to you.

We see you, and we know that we belong to each other.

We wish you joy on your journey.

Pat and Larry

     Photo by Amer Mughawish on Unsplash 

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We’re grateful that you are on this journey with us.

With love from our hearts to yours,
Pat and Larry